Friday, February 13, 2009

Listen To Your Mother: Sights and Stars...and Me

Growing up I did a good amount of traveling. Every March vacation my mom and I and sometimes my sister would go somewhere. It was usually either Europe or California or Disney World in Florida. My mom’s philosophy was that she would rather spend the money on expanding our cultural horizons than on buying fancy new furniture and drapes (which would just be more to clean!) No matter the destination, we always came back with a few souvenirs and photos to remember the fun we had.

My mom had a stubborn way of taking pictures. At least, I thought it was silly, stupid and stubborn at the time. Any time we came across a nice vista, it was “Jenny, go stand over there.” I was perfectly content to shoot the sights as is, without me looking bored or her looking excited standing in front of it. But no, Mom’s POV was that we can buy postcards of the sights and the vistas to take home, but no one would know that we were actually here. Our scrapbooks would look just like everyone else’s scrapbooks.

In fact, the scrapbooks she put together were pretty unique. She combined actual postcards with the “personal” shots of us seeing the sights. She also included any mementos that she could stick on the page and still get the clear protective sheet to cover the whole page. So there were logo-ed napkins, hotel receipts, drink stirrers, matchbooks, etc. And menus. Since my parents owned a restaurant, my mom was always on the lookout for new recipes and ideas (and not just because then the meal could be written off as a business expense!) She loved to take home the menus from places on our trips. Our prized menu was from the Cheesecake Factory in Marina Del Rey, California. She had to sneak that one out of the restaurant!

Back then I thought the scrapbooks were a little over the top, but still pretty cool. Today, my own scrapbooks aren’t quite as 3D, but I do try to incorporate ticket stubs, brochures, etc. When Mom forced my sister and I to pose on a bridge in Florence Italy and re-create a famous painting, I couldn’t roll my eyes enough. Since then I’ve come to realize she was 100% right and brilliant! These days, I think if I had kids to take globetrotting, I wouldn’t make them stand next to a famous fountain…I’d make them get IN the fountain. With digital cameras and Photoshop, anyone can create a shot of themselves in FRONT of the sights. Now there is even more of a personalized scrapbook challenge!

When my mom and I traveled to Hollywood, we were excited to try to find celebrities to include in our scrapbooks. As with the vistas, Mom always wanted me to be in the picture with the celebrities. I was shy and would have preferred hiding behind a camera around my favorite actors. But there was Mom, always pushing me to the front of the crowd of fans to get my picture taken too. I’m now grateful for all those pushes and see the value in a picture of “me and” versus a generic paparazzi picture.

During one trip to L.A. in 1991, we found out where and when the rehearsal for the Oscars was taking place. We headed down there and waited around outside. We somehow wound up in a group of media photogs and almost got assigned to a spot on the red carpet. They eventually figured out we were just a mom and daughter tourist! Meanwhile we saw and took pics of many stars arriving and going inside. At one point, my mom pushed me to walk up to Christina Applegate (she was at the height of her Married…With Children fame at the time) and ask for a picture. Mom’s idea being that people will be less likely to get mad at or kick out a child! It worked, she agreed to a pic before I was shoo-ed away.

Years later, I took on Mom’s role at a Smash Mouth concert. In 2003 (not long after my mom passed away) I was working at a residential treatment center for teenage girls with behavior problems. On the weekends, a lot of the girls went home. Most of the girls that stayed behind were not allowed to leave campus. There was a handful who were able to go out with staff. That summer I spent many weekends as the “out activity” staff supervising one particular resident, a well behaved 13-year-old I’ll call Sara.

One weekend we went to a free outdoor concert. At the end of the show I decided to give Sara a lesson in being a groupie. We waited by the backstage door, and I started talking to the other hangers-around and of course the security guards. It was one of those times that you realize that’s your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth! I found I could let go of a lot of my shyness because I wasn’t trying to get an autograph for myself, a “grown woman;” I was trying to get one for a child growing up in treatment. I used Sara the way my mom used me! And I didn’t just use her for my own benefit, I wasn’t afraid to push to the front of the crowd because I wanted to make her weekend something special. (Remember, it was the father who called up Babe Ruth to come visit his ailing son….)

Sara and I wound up meeting one of the touring members of the band (I think it was the percussionist, Marc Cervantes) and she did indeed get an autograph.

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